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The chess diary of Useless

Useless is the network’s eraser-in-residence. This time it has been sat at a chessboard with a notebook and a pencil it keeps rubbing out. Every fact in here has been checked by someone more qualified, i.e. anyone.

Useless, a pink-and-blue eraser with googly eyes
  1. Day 1

    Day one at the board. I counted the squares twice. 64 both times. Rubbing out the third count. FIDE Laws of Chess

  2. Day 2

    Set up the board wrong. Light square on the right, Useless. Light square on the right. FIDE Laws of Chess

  3. Day 3

    White goes first. I asked why. Nobody knew, so I went second. FIDE Laws of Chess

  4. Day 4

    The knight moves in an L. I tried an L too. I fell off the table. Britannica: chess

  5. Day 5

    Pawns can only go forward. Very brave. Very small. I relate. Britannica: chess

  6. Day 6

    The queen can move along files, ranks and diagonals. I can move along the edge of a pencil case. FIDE Laws of Chess

  7. Day 7

    Rooks were once also called castles. I was once also called a rubber. Names change. Britannica: chess

  8. Day 8

    A knight always lands on a different colour. I always land under the sofa. Britannica: chess

  9. Day 9

    Stalemate: no legal move, not in check, and it’s a draw. Like me at bedtime. FIDE Laws of Chess

  10. Day 10

    Touched my own piece. Had to move it. Lesson learned: keep hands on head. FIDE Laws of Chess

  11. Day 11

    Wrote my first move down: e4. Then I rubbed it out. Professional habit. FIDE Laws of Chess

  12. Day 12

    N for knight, because K was already taken by the king. Fair. FIDE Laws of Chess

  13. Day 13

    Chess first appeared in India, as chaturanga. I first appeared in a pencil case. Britannica: chess

  14. Day 14

    The fool’s mate is checkmate in two moves. I have been the fool. Twice. Britannica: chess

  15. Day 15

    A win is one point, a draw is half. I asked about a rubbed-out game. Zero, apparently. Britannica: chess

  16. Day 16

    In 1924, 15 countries met in Paris to set up FIDE. I was not invited. I am an eraser. Britannica: chess

Want more of Useless on paper? The Chess Family Activity Pack has six piece colouring pages, a knight-hop puzzle, a pawn maze, design your own chess set, a match-the-piece game and a 20-question family quiz to do together (paid download, $3.49 USD, A4 and US Letter).